لقد أثبت بحث جديد تم نشره في صحيفة علم النفس الاجتماعي التجريبي أن الناس كانوا أقل حزنا عند إنهاء علاقة ما واستطاعوا التأقلم مع ذلك أكثر مما كانوا يتوقعون حتى أن هذا الأثر غير المتوقع لوحظ لدى أولئك الذين كانوا “مغرمين بجنون”. وتؤيد الدراسة التي أجراها بول إيستويك وإيلي فينكل من جامعة نورثويسترن مع تمار كريشنامورتي وجورج لوينشتاين من جامعة كارنيجي ميلون ما سبق.
وقد أفاد هؤلاء الباحثين أن الإنفصال ليس بالسوء الذي يتخيله الناس، وكلما كنت غارقا في الحب مع شريكك، كلما كنت خاطئا حول مدى الضيق الذي سوف تمر به إذا وقع الانفصال.
وتستنتج الدراسة أنه سواء كانت التناقضات نتيجة لعدم القدرة على تصور النتائج الإيجابية المحتملة أو تقييما متشائما لقدرات التأقلم، فإن إنهاء علاقة ما يبدو محزناً بشكل أقل مما يعتقده الشخص العادي.
فالأشخاص مرنون أكثر مما يظنون بأنفسهم.
لا يمكننا القول أن الانفصال أمر جيد، ولكن يمكن للأشخاص استعادة حالتهم الطبيعية أسرع مما يتصورون.
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