هناك نوعان من الحب في الزواج؛ حب العشرة والحب الرومانسي وهو الأكثر شيوعا في المراحل الأولى من العلاقة. يبدأ هذا النوع من الحب بالنشوة والانجذاب الجسدي ثم التفاعل والتفكير الاستحواذي بالشريك. ولكنه يذبل بعد أول سنتين من العلاقة ويكون عرضة للإنفصال. ويمكن للأزواج حينها تقدير ما إذا كانوا قد انتقلوا إلى الحب بالعشرة فهو أكثر استقرارا مع أنه أقل متعة.
عندما يصاب الناس بالملل في علاقة ما، فهم عرضة لخطر الخيانة والطلاق. ولكن يمكن للأزواج تجنب الملل بإدخال نشاطات ممتعة في حياتهم. ويمكنهم أيضا تلبية احتياجات بعضهم البعض ومعرفة ما هو مهم بالنسبة لكل منهما وهذا يعني أعلى حالات الالتزام.
إذا كان هدفك عمل علاقة تدوم مدى الحياة، يجب أن يكون لدى شريكك نفس الشعور. من المفيد أن يستشير الزوجان معالجا قبل الزواج لمساعدتهما في مناقشة وجهات النظر المختلفة، فيصبحوا منفتحين لاستشارته عندما يواجهون مصاعب زوجية مما يعزز فرص بقائهم مع بعض. تذكر أن الأشخاص الذين يمكنهم إنهاء العلاقة هم الشريكان أنفسهما، وإذا التزما بهذه العلاقة فلا شيء سوف يوقفهما.
المؤلف: دكتور كيلي كامبل، بروفسور مشارك في علم النفس في جامعة ولاية كاليفورنيا، سان برناردينو.
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