اتخاذ قرار بالرحيل أو البقاء في علاقة ما بعد الخيانة
كيف نقرر هل ننهي العلاقة أم نستمر فيها مع خائن؟ وما هي العوامل المكوّنة لقرارنا؟
درست روزي شراوت ودانييل ويغل من جامعة نيفادا ورينو هذه المسألة ونشروا النتائج في صحيفة العلاقات الاجتماعية والشخصية. وهي أن قرار البقاء أو الرحيل هو سلسلة من العمليات، فمفاهيم المتطوعين في الدراسة عن موافقة أعضاء شبكتهم الاجتماعية أثرت على عزو اللوم والذي أثر بدوره على درجة مسامحة الشريك والذي أدى إلى قرارهم بالبقاء أو الرحيل. فالأشخاص الذين اقترح أصدقاؤهم عليهم أن يغادروا كانوا يلومون الشريك على اعتدائه وكانوا أقل تسامحا معه ولم يقرروا البقاء بعد الخيانة.
بالطبع هذه الدراسة لا تخبرنا كيف سنستجيب عند اكتشاف الخيانة: فالظروف تختلف من شخص لآخر، فهي مختلفة بين الأشخاص الأكبر سنا والذين يفكرون بالأمور المالية والأطفال وترتيبات العيش قبل التفكير في الرحيل أو البقاء مع الخائن.
ولكن يكشف هذا البحث أن حياتنا تتأثر سلبا بأفعال الآخرين، ويتأثر شعورنا وسلوكنا بمواقف الآخرين خاصة أصدقائنا وعائلاتنا.
المؤلف: الدكتور روبرت بوريس، وهو عالم نفس تطوري في جامعة بيزل في سويسرا.
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